Family Guy – Live in Vegas - All Cartoons Are Fuckin' Dicks 0

Peter:
On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
We hit a couple divy little bars
We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
Sitting at the table next to ours
Now Barney, who was pretty friggin' wasted
Got up and stumbled over with a groan
He said: "Hey, just between us, my neanderthalic
penis is as massive as a stegosaurus bone!

All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks

Meg: Did Barney really say that?
Peter: Oh, yeah! He is a bastard.
Lois: Wow!
Peter: An-And he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women!
Ah, aah.. it's Sad! It's really sad...
Brian: Well you think that's bad, listen to this

One day I met an ape of great charisma
Magilla the Gorilla was his name
He wore a little hat and matching bowtie
A fashion witch has brought him great acclaim
I said: "What do you see as your career-peak?
Of all your many flashy escapades.
He said: "Well this is funky,
but you're looking at the monkey who s responsible for bringing you the AIDS.

All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks

Peter: So he s the cold prick?
Stewie: I say that is just awful!
Lois: Okay, okay! Listen to this little gin

I had a conversation at a party
With famous Rabbit Hunter Elmer Fudd
He told me I just had to see his rifle
And dropped it at the table with a thud
I said to him: It s quite a lovely firearm.
He told me his fianc? likes it to
He said: This maybe corny but it really gets me horny when
I press it to her temple while we screw!

All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks

Peter: Aw, God! That is one sick bastard!
Stewie: Euw, you re not kidding?
Brian: Yeah, that eeh that stuff s kinda against the law to, I think.
Chris: Well, I got one that s even worse than that

On Friday-night I went to get some candy
Some soda and some chips and other stuff
Along the way I passed a little alley
And there I saw that K-9 called McGruff
I said to him: Hey! You re that famous crime dog!
He said:
I only work from nine to five! And now it s close ten-ish and I
got a job to finish cause as you can see this hooker s still alive!

All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks

Meg: That s awful!
Stewie: Uh! Imagine McGruff beating up hookers!
Peter: He is a dick He is a DICK!
Stewie: Yes, yes! He s a nasty Cartoon, but I can top that Listen to this!

One day as I was strolling through the forest
I happened on some mushroom covered turf
And there from underneath a patro-fungus
Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf
He said: This is our secret mushroom village!
I said: Then I m the first to see these views?
He said: I m only kidding, cause we only keep it hidden from the Asians,
Adams, Faggots, Blacks and Jews!

All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks

Lois: That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster!
Stewie: Oh, he s a dirty, nasty racist and a bigot and homophobe,
and do you know what I did when I got home?
Brian: What?
Stewie: I called up Gargamel and I told him where the village is!

[LAUGHTER]

Peter: That s sweeeeet
Meg: Can I go next?
Lois: Of course, sweetie!
Meg: